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Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Stand by me...

There have been a few times in my life that people have done things that I just could not get over as a friend. Some of you out there reading this are on that list. Really doesn't matter what you did or how I felt about it at the time. I'm sorry that I abandoned you, removed you from my friends list, told you to shove off, whatever. That was not what a friend should have done.

For those of you whom have offered support and decided to stand by me through this painful transformation I am experiencing...thank you. I am grateful beyond words. Some of you I have called upon, others I have not. I am busy fixing my world but hope to see and talk to all of you soon. I need to get out of debt and am spending all of my other 'free' time on that.

Something for us all to think on: An acquaintance is someone you know, a friends is someone you care about...maybe even love. When they screw up, that is not the time to cut your losses and walk away, no matter how tempting it is. That is the time to stand by them, even if it means you have to swallow your pride or deal with being angry at them for what they have done.

If I could shout a message to the world, it would be this:

Take care of each other or nothing will ever get better!

The Divine loves you and so do I.

Saturday, 10 May 2008

Forgiveness Rampage!

I am on a forgiveness rampage! I have called my mother, father, ex-wife and my grandparents. I've told them all that I love them no matter what has happened over the years and I want them to forgive themselves for any harm the have done.

I am taking unconditional love to the world. In spite of my sadness over losing my relationship with Heather, I have not felt more peace or joy in my life. God's love is filling up that hollow place in my heart.

Be happy, healthy and whole!

I love you!

Thursday, 08 May 2008

Unconditional Love and Forgiveness...

I let my anger, pain and frustration get in the way of loving someone...again. I honestly feel that I was hurting Heather by perpetuating our relationship. I love her very much but became so frustrated with myself that I lashed out at her, broke down and destroyed the love we had. I was cold and heartless to her at the very end and that broke her heart. Several people have now said that they hate me and want me dead for hurting her. I really can't say that I blame them but do hope they get past that anger in time.

I have tried to fill up this hollow place in my heart over the years. Nothing has worked, no matter how hard people have tried to love me and be supportive of me. I have not been able to completely forgive the people who have hurt me in the past and have carried a great burden of pain and anger because of that. I have never believed in unconditional love and have not been able to give it. For that I am both sad and very sorry.

Heather tried to teach me what unconditional love was by giving it freely and forgiving me when I became angry over silly things that really did not matter. For that I am grateful. I feel as though I have been a monster of sorts and that needs to end. I have to forgive those who hurt me and offer them unconditional love. I have to believe that the Universe (God, Goddess, whatever you believe is out there) loves us no matter who we are or what we have done.

If I have hurt you or someone that you care for, please accept my apology and know that I am working to make things right. I have to forgive my father for abandoning me. My church for alienating me. The children I grew up with for kicking me around. My brother for hurting my family and making my life so much more difficult. The Navy for trying to beat me down. Shawn for giving up on me. My best friend for binding me when I was trying to help others. My father's family for shunning me over my beliefs. The world for being so uncaring and cold. Myself for all the harm I have done to others along the way.

No matter who you are or what you have done, I love you.

I hope you can all say the same and mean it.

Be happy, healthy and whole.

Yale~

Tuesday, 06 May 2008

Short and simple...

I have ended my relationship with Heather. No, it was not pretty.
I will not slam or slander the beautiful woman that I have been in love with for the last nine months.
We are not friends at this point.

Monday, 14 April 2008

Analogies...

You can love someone with every fiber of your being...

...but what if every fiber of your being would not make up a warm pair of socks?

Emotional issues from previous relationships is often referred to as baggage...

...what if you are doing nothing but living out of a suitcase?

People who are very emotionally needy are often called high maintenance...

...what if you can't ever manage to get out of the garage?

Welcome to my Monday.

Hope yours is better.